christmas day

xmas day

dekayla an mama b

 

Dekayla an me

 

 7th december 2012

Question people ask when pregnant.

Telling people your pregnant is one of the most exciting thing in the world, but have you noticed when you tell people your pregnant the first question they ask is, “are you going to breast-feed?” I don’t understand why thats the first question people want to know. I find it very annoying because it’s no one’s business whether you’re going to breastfeed or not. Why they want to know is beyond me, nosy bastards.

Another thing, that annoys me is when people ask if your going to breastfeed and if you say no, they ask “why!” Its the best thing for your baby. Then they go, “you will chang your mind when the baby is born.” Oh my god, did my wife and I hear that saying all through her pregnancy. No matter what we did or said, people would just reply, “you will change your mind when the baby is born.” Actually WE HAVEN’T. They don’t know us, they were wrong as well. Shell, didnt want to breast-feed, she didn’t change her mind when our baby was born either. People are just so dam nosy.

On Monday 19th Dec, we had the health visitors and she weighed DKP, she is 9lbs at 6weeks 5 days old. That is a good weight. She is getting so big so fast.

How we had our baby

A lot of people may be wondering how we went about with having our baby. We kept talking about for years about having kids of our own, but in January 2010 we decided to become foster carers, after 11months of doing the process of becoming foster carers we got a call from the home assessment social worker  said we wouldnt pass the panel so to terminate our application, this is another story that I willl continue at a later date.

Anyways. After being turned down to foster we decided to start our own family and finally go for having a baby. Thats when I started researching our rights as lesbian parents in england, and researching donors, and what type we will need and how to go about getting a donor. I registered to a few donor websites and searched for months, finally I find a AI donor, and I messaged him and within a few days he messaged me back. All was going good, then after 3-4 weeks the donor wanted to do it NI, which means natural insemination aka SEX. I was heart broken, this guy had got us emotionally involved with him cause he was going to help us have a baby and goes an pulls this trick? So I told him that we didn’t want him as a donor now and we got rid of him.
Again I searched the donor sites and wrote posts and about a month maybe a little longer went by in march I found another donor that I liked. I messaged him and he messaged me back and everything was going good. We emailed each other for weeks, making sure both parties know the ins an out of this AI. We both agreed on no contact afterwards, no contact with child, he is just a donor an nothing more. He agreed an we decided to wait till my wifes 30th bday in june to start the insemination. We bought a home insemination kit,It  comes with everything you need to do inseminate at home. I will have to use a suringe to get the sperm up from the cup and then insert the suringe inside my wife, shell.

http://www.insemination-help.com/2.html
home AI KIT website I used.

July comes and we’re testing for ovulation, but because we never did this before we MISSED our ovulation. We was guted and upset with ourselves. The donor couldn’t do it in Augest so we had to skip next months, which was upsetting as well. We do the Home insemination in september,October we wait the two weeks, but NEGATIVE pregnancy tests. We was sad but its okay its only been two inseminations tries.  Novemeber the donor couldn’t do it so we skipped November.

We tried again in December, waited the 2 weeks, Shell was even late for a week, we was OMG is this it?? Nope, she had her period. We really thought she was pregnant. We decided to skip January because shell’s ovulation  was to close to the holidays. So Feburary comes and we do the AI on the 4th Feb 2012. We wait the 2 weeks, Shell is over a week late as well, we have one them cheap pregnancy test strips, there’s a faint line on the stick we was like ok is it positive or negative?? Well we decided to buy clear view pregnancy test.  Shell takes the pregnancy test after work and we wait and it feels like ages. After 3 minutes the test came back PREGNANT, 1-2 weeks. It was the most happiest momment in our lives. We was gobsmacked. We just couldn’t believe it. 

 

 We told our families and our families didn’t believe us at first but they was so happy for us. Shell’s pregnancy went good, she was down as high risk because we had a donor, and because she has thallasemia, she’s half greek. But the donor said he didnt have it but the midwife still put shell down as high risk. We had many growth scans, many scans in general. We got 4 scan photos out of the pregnancy that was a bonus! Shell didn’t get very big, she was size 16 before pregnant and she stayed size 16! It was all baby,not bloated by water. She was lucky she only gained 1 st 1/2.  Shell had really bad labor though, she was in labor for 3 days, it was the most horrible feeling in the world seeing your wife in so much pain and not able to help her. On the 3rd day though the baby was in distress and shell was to and they had to do an emergency C-section. Our baby was born 31.10.2012 at 1:40 pm. Wedsnday. Weighting 6lbs 9oz.  She was fine and shell was fine. It was the scariest day of my life though. I thought I was going to loose my wife. But it all worked out for the best. This is our story, we did it, so  can you!